Sad monkey?

So, as I mentioned in this post, a very wonderful friend of mine has headed off to Japan for a few months and then back "home" to work and re-group.

But not before spending a week with me. A WHOLE WEEK! In my apartment, enjoying my life with me. And you know what? I really enjoyed having someone around. It was nice to feel like a part of a whole, y’know?

We had some great chats and spent a lot more time than I would have expected, in the mall of all places.

We enjoyed massages at the spa and good meals at home and a few drinks on Friday night. A few too many, I should say...(that's another story.)

I was absolutely okay as we drove to the airport.

I was absolutely okay as we checked him in and sorted out his bags.

I was absolutely okay as we walked to security.

I was moderately okay as he kissed me goodbye and headed to his gate.

I was less-than-moderately okay throughout the day as I got text updates from him before he left North America.

I was definitely not okay when the workday closed and I realized I was going home to an empty apartment.

I was less-than-definitely-not-okay as I got in the car.

(I cried. A lot. All the way home! I can admit it!)

And I was sad when I got home.

I couldn’t eat.

I had a beer, but it didn’t help.

I talked on the phone, twice, with my best friend (who happens to be his very dearest friend as well).

I toddled off to bed around 8PM after contemplating writing sad, emo poetry.

I fell asleep instantly.
I am sure that this had to do with the fact that I hadn’t slept well the night before and was up at 5am.

I let myself be sad on Tuesday. I let myself feel the weight of his absence and grieve the loss of having someone to hang out with.  I let myself feel sorry for myself and I let myself sit on the couch in sweatpants watching trashy MTV Reality shows.

On Wednesday, I pulled it together. I got up early, I made breakfast, I styled my hair and I put on a cute outfit (I promise I’ll start doing outfit pics reallyreallyreallysoon) and I went to work. And I smiled. I checked the time in Tokyo three or four times, wondered if he’d made it all okay and whether or not he was safe. I texted with my best friend and we had some laughs. I teared up a few times during the day and my nose had that prickly-I’m-gonna-cry feeling twice. But I didn’t cry.

This is a really exciting adventure for him and a truly wonderful opportunity for me to refocus and re-centre myself for the year ahead.

But I was a bit of a sad monkey.

And that, friends, is okay.

Elsie P

PS – How do you deal with being sad?