Panty Hose

What is it about the fashion industry? They insist on mocking women and seem to have made their money making it difficult for women to look good and feel comfortable doing it.
Normally, I wear stockings. But this morning I couldn't find the garters - and as I am writing this I just remembered where they are - to hold the stockings up. (The other trick I have is to just tuck the top of the stocking under the super hold of a pair of Spanx...but I am Spanx-less ATM) So I am stuck with a pair of panty hose. Ill fitting panty hose.
The top keeps rolling and insists on transforming in to something Britney Spears would consider stylish - ultra low rise. Normally, I'd be down for that, but as it happens, ultra-low-rise-panty-hose are not as comfortable as you'd imagine.
I was walking down the hall in my office - side note, my office has 90% glass walls...there is no where to hide - and I could feel the rolling start and gain momentum. Then it happened: The panty hose wave kept going...not bothering to stop at the top of my underwear, not bothering to stop at the bottom of them either. Nope, the hose have decided to head straight for my ankles. With every step I take, the roll gains another 2 inches in the race to the finish. It's now me vs them: a battle to the bathroom. Who will make it to their destination first?? With my money on the 'hose, I discreetly hide behind my desk and pretend to be changing my shoes while I tug, furiously, at the unruly hose-roll and put it back in to place.
Slightly flushed and out of breath, I compose myself and head back to what I was doing.
This isn't the only time this has happened. I have had to excuse myself to the ladies' 3 times today due to Panty Hose Related Malfunctions. No amount of clenching and flexing while I walked had any effect. Forget sitting down and standing up, either. Anytime I stood, I had to incorporate a trip to the ladies' with every trip.
Sheesh!

Elsie P

PS - The crux of the malfunction may have been that the 'hose I was wearing were about 2 sizes too small...God Bless my sister (who purchased them for me) for thinking I was either thinner or taller than I actually am..!